She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
