I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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