Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize