White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
