it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
