its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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