we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
