hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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