Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
