There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
