Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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