So drunk, too bad you don't want this
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
