You made me cry and you don't even care
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Randomize
