I want to have your abortion
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
