how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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