HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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