Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
