I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
