I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize