Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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