Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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