i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
