Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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