did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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