Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
