If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Randomize
