Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
