So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
