Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
