I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
