broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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