Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
