remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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