no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
