She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize