It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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