Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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