My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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