break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
