Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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