never play flip cup with pint glasses
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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