operation have a gay friend backfired
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
They are going to name an STD after you.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
