I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize