I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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