I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
