he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize