I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
