Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
