how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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