I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
