i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
