she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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