would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
