escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
