Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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