Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
