well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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