I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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