Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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