I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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