help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
